Phoebe Bridgers' Infatuation with Drowning
Take a shot every time Phoebe mentions drowning
Phoebe Lucille Bridgers. The haunting woman you are.
At what I consider to be irrefutably one of the worst points in my life (2020), I decided hesitantly to listen to Phoebe Bridgers’ first album, “Stranger in the Alps.” I went blindly into my first listen. I did no googling (unusual for me) surrounding who she was or what genre her music fell into. Boy, I didn’t know what I was in for (Better Oblivion Community Center reference).
Phoebe Inpho
Phoebe Bridgers is a 30 year old 4x Grammy WINNING(!!!) American singer-songwriter whose genres include broadly alternative, indie-rock, and indie-folk. Most of her music is soft and slow focused around complex storytelling in tandem with acoustic guitar, atmospheric sounds, and electronic production. A few of her songs have a faster pace and “upbeat” feeling (Motion Sickness/Kyoto etc) with occasional screaming. She began writing and performing very young, seemingly knowing that being an artist was her life’s path. Phoebe has a remarkable amount of collaborations with other artists such as SZA, Taylor Swift, Fiona Apple, and the National. The two most popular collaborations, and the best in my opinion, are those with Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus “Boygenius”, and Conor Oberst “Better Oblivion Community Center.”
Phoebe Bridgers
Stranger in the Alps, 2017
Punisher, 2020
Boygenuis
Self Titled EP, 2018
The Record, 2023
The Rest EP, 2023
Better Oblivion Community Center
Self Titled, 2019
The first song on Phoebe’s first album, released on September 22nd, 2017, is “Smoke Signals”. This song allows us to crawl inside the relationship between Phoebe and her ex-boyfriend Marshall Vore, through their tender moments that she so solemnly weaves together.
“Smoke Signals is a love song about waking up to your reality, in a way, finding someone who shares the same interests as you.” - Phoebe Bridgers, Stereogum
Although cliche, I was deeply and unquestionably moved at first listen. I would describe Phoebe’s music as evocative, melancholic, introspective, ghostly, and existential. It is impossible for me to talk about my favorite Phoebe songs, as I would sit here typing until my wrists broke. Phoebe’s music offers recurring themes of heartbreak, loss, death, depression, violence, grief, and uncomfortable emotions delivered in a soberingly blunt fashion. There is nowhere to hide behind her maudlin lyrics as every line elicits a visceral reaction. A heart-wrenching memory.
After 4 straight years of listening to Phoebe and her main collaborations, I have found one recurring theme that seems to stand out from the rest.
Drowning.
Yes yes I know, Phoebe sings about starting fires, suicide, and being stabbed often too, but what is it about drowning that enthralls her? And why is nobody talking about it?
Throughout her two albums, her singles (some even wiped from the web), and her collaborative albums, the allegory of drowning, her loved ones drowning, and her ceaseless dreams of drowning repeat in an almost cyclic pattern. From my research, the act of drowning has been mentioned at minimum 10 times between her two albums and singles, and three times between her two main collaborations. Keep in mind she has many other collaborations that I have not made my way through…yet. I may be dramatic to think this, but it seems that the depiction of drowning is the thread that sews her projects together.
A few examples…
“Cause nothing ever shakes me
nothing makes me cry
Not a plane going down
In the ocean, I'm drowning” - Sidelines, Phoebe Bridgers
“He came up through the water without a sound
With my back to the shoreline, I dreamt that he drowned
I dreamt that he drowned” - Georgia, Phoebe Bridgers
“Playing 'Would You Rather', when it comes to fire
You always say that you'd prefer to drown” - Would You Rather, Phoebe Bridgers
“I can walk you home and practice method acting
I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning” - Cool About It, Boygenius
Drowning is her leitmotif. Drowning is utter helplessness, innate fear, struggle, eventual collapse, and release. I am unsure if this recall has been intentional, if drowning really plagues her dreams, or if drowning is an easy metaphor to represent the feelings evoked by her other recurrent themes. I’d like to believe the former, as a writer myself, there has to be intentionality behind her continued mention of drowning. Maybe we will never know.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve seen drowning used to represent the crushing feeling of overwhelm, depression, and various other mental health issues that 2012 Instagram and Tumblr offered up, to 12 year old me, on a platter. Drowning represents struggle. Whether it is my uneasy parents revealing that they’re drowning in debt, my sister describing drowning in her school work, or me, still drowning in the whirlpool of my mind’s eye. For centuries past and future, drowning will continue to describe the struggle of abuse, alienation, and abjection.
In a 2022 The Guardian interview with Phoebe, Laura Snapes writes that Phoebe wants to “escape the perception that she is just a sad girl: it minimises her work, and she is bothered by the fetishization of depression.” Apparently fans felt abandoned by Phoebe and betrayed by her newfound happiness. The line between the fetishization and relatability of depression is extremely thin. There is a niche of books that I consider depression porn. Books that have no other purpose than to bring you through an agonizing journey for the simple pleasure of someone else’s pain. In Phoebe’s case, I believe it an instance of correctly separating the art from the artist. Phoebe, albeit known for her somber sound, is not her music. Like anyone else, she is a complex organism capable of feeling an array of emotions. One does not have to be in perpetual suffering to create beautiful art. In my opinion, drowning or not, her songs do not romanticize their dark themes. I obviously do not know Phoebe, but her raw lyricism strikes me in a way that makes me believe her words come sincerely from the heart. Just another person who found a place to put their pain.
Great piece! You’re a really good writer. I remember listening to Stranger in the Alps (when I was painting a fence!) after a mate recommended Phoebe Bridgers. Similarly, I had no idea what to expect. Completely stopped me in my tracks. Funeral esp.
I love this, you have such beautiful writing!